Skylar was sad to see me go, but honestly, he doesn't look good. We had a really awkward goodbye, but I did make sure not to let Sancho pee on him.
I got the truck all kitted out to sustain anything that nature could possibly throw at it. I was ready for the most slippery of roads, the deepest ice wells, and the sharpest tiger traps. Observe the impressive beast ready for battle.
I got out on the road, and there were a couple spots that tried to test my metal mammoth.
In the end though, the road was much tamer than I thought it would be. An inch of snow fell and provided plenty of traction. It took me about an hour of cruising along at 15 miles an hour with the chains on before I realized I needed to change my game plan if I was going to make it home before I caught a bad case of death by old age. So I took the chains off and cruised into Chitina (35 miles from the cabin) about 2 hours after I left. I thought things would be peachy from then on out.
By the time I hit Glenallen it was completely dark and snowing profusely. Driving down the highway was like crossing the galaxy with Han Solo after Chewy kicks in the hyperdrive, and all the stars turn to lines and start zooming past. This is a great effect to observe for a second or two on television, but let me tell you it is the most mindfucky thing in the world if you trying to look out for moose in it for hours. I went pretty much the whole 300 miles at about 45 miles an hour. I had to stop three times to make sure Sancho got all the peeing he needed done. I was really worried he was going to start pooping everywhere because I gave him some bacon this morning, but he did very well and now he is playing his face off in the backyard with two of his doggy chums.
I think the time has come to declare the winner of the Memorial Anthony of Egypt National Most Hermitly Award. It has been a race to the finish as Germany, Denmark, and Ecuador appeared out of nowhere. South Africa has been coming on strong. The winner is........ (Bum badda bum bum BUM)
NEW ZEALAND!!!!
with Uganda coming in second and South Africa a very close third. Congratulations New Zealand! Since I now know that it was Xavier operating undercover in the Southern Hemisphere, the final addition to the prize vat is a bottle of Crown and a jug of apple juice. I am so proud of all the nations that showed their true hermity stripes.
Well, folks, its been a blast. Thanks for reading! I got 2000 hits over the course of the month, which I think shows some dedicated readership. All the comments especially I read with the greatest appreciation and contentment. I'll be seeing you....
I'm sad. Does it have to be over???
ReplyDeleteI'm, really, really sad. I know Salt Lake has potential as a hermit refuge...Can't you promise us some contact? Can you disappoint 2000 contactors? What would St. Anthony of Egypt do?
ReplyDeleteRuss
ReplyDeleteI am just beside myself with grief that you are gone. What will we all do without you?? I think you need a sequel to this fabulous story....and maybe get published?? While you are looking for work in SLC, perhaps you may consider this idea??
I may or may not have stayed up until 4am to read all your posts. And for the record, if I had known about your adventures/blog earlier, I would have singlehandedly won that Memorial Anthony of Egypt National Most Hermitly Award for Mexico.
ReplyDelete:) Jenkins