The Visitation Saga Part 1: Sancho's Tormentress

Oh man, today my visitors (named Buttons and Lemington, I have decided at this very moment) packed their bags and went back to wherever it is that everyone lives, and with it they took my vacation. I can hear the indignant cries of "Vacation from what, you freeloading ragamuffin", but I'll have you know that entertaining the entirety of Uganda, New Zealand and South Africa can really wear on your nerves after a couple years (or weeks, if you want to split hairs). I can't just produce these golden sentences woven with such perfection forever without a break every once in a while.

Speaking of golden perfection, here is a bag of gold mined by Anthony of Egypt himself. It is believed to be the oldest bag of gold in existence. It will be yet another small piece in the puzzle of prizes given to the winner of the Memorial Anthony of Egypt National Most Hermitly Award.

Are you winning? Let's find out.

New Zealand- 46
Uganda- 37
South Africa- 23

I have to say that while New Zealand looks to be comfortably coasting in the lead, South Africa has really turned on the afterburners and put in the best performance by any country this week. Well done!

Now it is time to tell the tale of the visitors. Not the humans, though, I'll tell you about them later. These last few days have been unsettling ones for the other permanent Temporary Hermit, our very own Sancho, and this is his story.

Here we observe the one and only Maggie, who arrived with the visitors. My, what a beautiful dog! I can hear the gears whizzing in your faraway minds, dear readers, and they are thinking things like "Ahh a long haired lady to light the fires in Sancho's cold hard heart" or "A friend and confidant for Sancho to turn to in his darkest hours". But you are wrong. What Sancho actually got was a dominatrix intent on taking everything he loves and holds dear, claiming it as hers, and then preventing him from getting anywhere near it. Maggie has a really great temperament with humans. She is affectionate, calm, and gentle. With dogs, however, she is exactly the opposite. When I would pet or play with Sancho she would barge her way in between us, and then if she felt she wasn't getting the proper percentage of attention or tennis ball chewing time (100%, obviously), she would remedy the situation by politely demonstrating to Sancho that she was willing to fight to the death. The same thing would happen if there was a place he liked on the floor, a stick he was interested in a chewing, or (God forbid!) he should try and play with her. This was very confusing for Sancho, who is something of a social butterfly. Despite the fact Maggie could walk between Sancho's legs without bumping her head against his stomach, she managed to turn him into a hopelessly hysterical mass of dog-flavored Jello.

Now, though, his tormentress has returned from whence she came and he is lying on his favorite floor spot with the tennis ball nearby, available whenever he feels like it. (Editors Note: Maggie should not be confused with the Singaporean all-female thrash metal band Tormentress, who have historically been quite kind to Sancho.)

Buttons is good at photo-makin', so I stole the the photos he made. Here is one. I will return another day to regale you with human based adventures.